Posted on Jul 24, 2008 in Atheism, Atheist, automotive, Comedy, commercials, Entertainment, Funny, Humor, Life, moving, Rants, stand up, Technology, Thoughts
If I believed in god or something else irrelevant, like The Force, I would think that tonight was a sign…
I left the house driving my merry way to the train station to go into town and do tonights open mike at The Brainwash….
Drive out of driveway, check… pull out of subdivision, check…. drive down mountain and say sarcastically to self, “Cool view of the Pacific, it fucking sucks that I moved here.”, check…. Apply brakes to stop as approaching bottom of mountain, OH SHIT HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!
You got it no brakes, thank the frakin’ creator (sorry Battlestar Galactica reference) I got a car with a manual transmission kids or it would a been a really squishy mess, ‘Blood on the Highway’ starring me would have been showing in drivers ed classes for years…. So, no yuck yucks tonight…. but I DO get to keep breathing for a bit longer so it’s a wash I figure.
Got the car to the shop about 5pm PST where I had the front brakes done in April this year and we find that the rear brakes lost 2 bolts and the caliper is totally fried (left rear, for the really mechanically curious)…. Luckily I am an anal retentive jerk, so I whipped out the receipt and warranty from when I had the BOTH rear brakes and calipers replace in April of 2007 via the local Goodyear/Gemini when I was still in Florida…. I knew the big move was close, even last year, so I got the work done at a national place with 24 month or 24,000 mile warranty,…. so we’re safe on BOTH counts, less than 24 months since the work and a little under 20,000 miles since the work was done….
SO, guess who’s calling Goodyear/Gemini’s national warranty department between 6am and 6pm MST tomorrow????
If you guessed me YOUR RIGHT, but none the less I still wouldn’t sign up for Jeopardy based on just that question. I’ll keep you appraised of the situation…
Posted on Jul 24, 2008 in Atheist, Comedy, Entertainment, Funny, Humor, medical, philosophy, Rants, Science, space, Technology, Thoughts
I have what they call an ‘above average’ IQ…. But I tend to get distracted and annoyed easily…. It’s a problem… when you KNOW your always right…. I know some of you know what I’m talking about… roughly 2% if the current figures hold….
Have you ever heard of a Memory Palace?…. it’s a memory system based on rooms, you ‘build a palace’ in your head and you just put things you want to remember in the rooms of that palace… get it…. The only problem is my Memory Palace is a fixer upper…. I keep MEANING to finishing things but then I move on to the next room….
Plus it’s always dusty with all the construction…. Let’s just not go there anymore….
Posted on Jul 24, 2008 in Cannabis, Comedy, Drugs, Entertainment, Funny, Humor, Life, News, Rants, Science, Technology, Thoughts
So this Network Admin for the City of San Francisco, set up a booby trap to destroy city records…. He says he’s a ‘scapegoat’ because his ‘incompetent’ supervisors are ‘envious of his abilities in computer networking‘…
I’m a computer geek by trade too and let me just tell you….. NO ONE IS ENVIOUS OF OUR ABILITIES…. come on… I mean I DELIBERATELY DON’T mention it in public!!…. I don’t want all the questions…. No one’s asking a Proctologist to look into their ass at parties, why me?!?!?
But I don’t talk about computer stuff unless I’m in a room full of computers and other geeks!!! It’s like Star Trek and Porn, you JUST DON’T MENTION IT unless your AT THE CONVENTION CENTER!!!… It’s just bad form!?!?!
I’ve NEVER SEEN a girls eyes light up when I mentioned I had broadband DSL and I don’t expect to in the future, so get over yourself out there psycho IT guys…. Your making the rest of us look bad, it was hard enough before, JUST when we finally START to get some cache…. PSYCHO IT GUY in the news!!! Thanks A LOT!
Posted on Jul 24, 2008 in Aging, Comedy, Entertainment, Family, Friends, Funny, Humor, Life, Rants, stand up, television, Thoughts, Weed
Have you seen Willard Scott on the Today Show?……
I can’t help it but every time I see him do his shtick, for some reason I always think…. wouldn’t it be weird if when he finally dies we found out that he was a centenarian serial killer and all those old folks he likes to show the pictures of each morning were his victims/trophies?!?!?
Though seeing some of those pictures I gotta figure SOME of them are volunteering…. What, it doesn’t look to me like ANY of those people are having FUN here anymore, why else would you mail a serial killer your home address AND a current photo?
Hey, it’s just a thought…. thoughts aren’t wrong…. twisted…, sick…., morose maybe but they’re never really wrong!
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 in Comedy, Funny, Humor, Life, News, philosophy, politicians, Politics, Rants, Science, space, stand up, Technology, Thoughts
Apparently, some Dallas County Commissioners got into an argument recently because one of the white guys used the term ‘black hole’ in a meeting…. No, he wasn’t talking about a secretary’s ass….
This is funny to me cause in a real Black Hole, there is NO LIGHT!!!! Ergo, there is no FUCKING COLOR!!!!
Leave it to a couple of dumb ass politicians to make one of the FEW places in the universe where color REALLY DOESN’T MATTER AN ISSUE!!!!….
God help us all if one of these guys brings up ‘Dark Matter‘ at a future meeting!