Some friends and I were sitting around the other day brainstorming…

We decided to form a Emo Philips Tribute Band named  ‘Idiosyncratic Annoyance’…

It got a lot more complicated when we realized he’s only one guy with no songs or discernible musical ability what so ever…

(Link to Original Version)

Headline News was reporting on the fact that Tiger Woods “fist bumped” a fan in Orlando on the golf course today…

How is this news?…

I mean the only thing it really makes me want to know is, was that the fist he diddled the cocktail waitresses and strippers with?…

I’ll bet Tiger Woods is praying like a sex addict at the strip club with only one condom for this Jenna Jameson story to get some traction…

But he also probably feels sorry for her, cause for SURE he did her…  Right?

I also love how Jenna’s Dad all of a sudden is at her side to help her out…  Cause he did such an extraordinary job which led to her career choice…  Here’s a tip ladies, if your in the Porn industry and you ever have any trouble…  SEEK THERAPY and INDEPENDENT LEGAL REPRESENTATION!!!

NOT your Mommy or Daddy, they apparently weren’t so hot the first time around when you really needed them, I’m thinking they may not do so great now either…

I have a Gay Jewish Mother In Law…  That’s like double jeopardy isn’t it?…

I mean they don’t even allow that kind of stuff in the U.S. court system…

Even AFTER Bush got done with them…  I mean the court system…  Not the Gay Jewish Mother In Law’s…

Though I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t approve of them either…  If he could conceive of such a thing…

People love to say “Always question authority”…

I love to reply, “Fu@k YOU!!!  I don’t need any answers!!!  Plus I don’t even know ANYONE named Authority”…