Don’t worry about the economy folks…  W. is planning to talk to us all soon to ‘allay’ our fears… I feel SO MUCH BETTER NOW!!!

Here is a man that is so stupid he led a national economy that was at a SURPLUS (for those of you who don’t realize it that means the government had MORE THAN THEY WERE SPENDING!!!) and turned it into one of the largest DEFICITS (for those same folks, this is a BAD THING!!!) this nation has ever seen…  And it’s not like he did it by himself, he’s too stupid, every business he ever ran he literally RAN INTO THE GROUND and bankrupted it, but he previously did it MUCH QUICKER!!!…  Again, because he’s STUPID…   He can’t pronounce nuclear correctly, well ok he can’t pronounce MANY, MANY words correctly, but that just gives further credence to my argument…

He didn’t do it alone, in that, the GOP is pulling the strings on our current puppet…  Now they want to rush through $700 Billion worth of ‘emergency funding’, that’s billion with a B, BEFORE the next president is elected…  This is a ‘hurry up’ scam, YOU CAN’T WAIT, you have to ACT FAST before the chance goes away!!!…  We are bailing out BUSINESSES that are poorly managed by allowing the people who bankrupted them to CONTINUE TO RUN THEM while we pay the bill!!!

And to TOP IT OFF, you will still have to pay those SAME businesses any money OWED TO THEM…  Correct me if I’m wrong but this would mean they are being paid TWICE by the average American citizen….  How is this NOT getting anally raped???…  I just want to know the distinction so I can tell the officer when he’s filling out the report while they do the rape kit on my ass….

Where is the bail out for the American public???…  Why don’t we have the government mandating a 50% reduction in ALL DEBT across the board for ALL the American CITIZENS!!!…  Everything too, not just home loans but credit cards, auto loans, signature loans, check cashing loans….  Then they can pay back those loan companies with ‘tax write offs’ for the value of all those forgiven loans???…..

That way EVERYONE can have something done that will personally effect them and allow them to realize that their government actually gives a damn about them!!!!

This will never happen of course, the people who are making double the money off you would never allow it….  They are the GOP and they LOVE YOU….  At least they LOVE the fact that they can RAPE you and you NEVER ONCE CALLED THE COPS ON THEM!!!…  In fact many of you loved it so much you RE-ELECTED them….

And now many of you are considering allowing the ASS RAPE to continue by voting for McCain and Palin….  An abusive father could never be as proud as the GOP is of you folks who are considering voting this way, takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’….  But it’s ok right, cause the GOP REALLY loves you and it didn’t mean it, it just had ‘too much to drink’ last night and it’s having a tough time at work right now…

You see ‘my way’ would have all that money go to the people, ‘their way’ has all that money go to BIG BUSINESS not once, but TWICE….

Yeah, vote the McCain/Palin ticket….   Morons…

Sarah Palin is a nit, as are her speech writers and teleprompter operators…  Learn to give a speech in front of a group if you… want….  to…. get…   on…  the stage…    Sorry we’re not all wearing antlers down here in the ‘lower 48′ sister…    We’re not all a member of the local Moose lodge…   Many of us are Elk or Eagles…  Even the occasional drunken Shriner….

I love how they (at the RNC) rip on the ‘set’ from Obama’s ‘show’ but they think we don’t notice the ‘subtle’ CROSS imagery when they put that big platform out there for McCain to give his speech from…   In all the long shots it looked just like he was standing on a giant cross…   All he needed was a couple nails through his hands and Mel Gibson beating the bejesus out of him and it would have been perfect…

As he’s CRUICIFIED for our country…   Poor little McCain…     You know I had it worse, my mother was mentally unbalanced…    I was held prisoner for 17 YEARS…    He only did about 5 and a HALF…    Did the Viet Cong make him go get his own SWITCHES???…

I think not…

(I thought of this last night and luckily ‘The Jimmy Kimmel Show’ had the perfect clip I needed, enjoy)

I can blame my encyclopedic knowledge of obscure and horrid 80′s films for realizing the frightening truth of this conspiracy,….   my spouse feels a ‘dream job’ for me would be a ‘Beer Master/Film Critic’….

Over the course of the last few days, as Sarah Palin’s life has become the ‘open book’ that is American Politics….  I’m sure Jefferson, Washington and Adams would be thrilled with our progress….   In that we can smear ALL people much more efficiently now…

As a father of a kid with Down Syndrome I don’t much sympathize for her…  She’s chosen her career over a kid that needs extra care from the people who love him the most, my wife and I readjusted our lives and changed careers so we could have more flexibility to provide for him…  We didn’t expect it, but we’ve become a better family for it…

So her other kid’s pregnancy I can also relate to as that happened to me as well, I’m sorry for the daughter, I’m sorry for the boyfriend, the kid’s a hockey player, who’s getting a ‘shotgun wedding‘ (though his myspace page was great, as he was honest in saying he didn’t want a kid and of course they made him take it down, but I’m sure you could Google a story on it)…

So hearing all this I’m thinking “You know, the Republican party REALLY IS the traditional party.”…  I mean I haven’t seen a good forced marriage since I was in hillbilly country (southern Indiana, N. Kentucky)…  I mean I’ve had ‘corn squeezin’s‘ before, it’s great stuff too, once your vision comes back…

Some of my family’s most dysfunctional situations started out JUST like those kid’s so GOD BLESS EM  I say…  There aren’t ENOUGH angry young parents out there to beat their kid’s now a day’s right?

I’m also listening and it hits me…  This WHOLE THING is the script from one of Rob Lowe’s FINEST films of the 80′s ‘Youngblood‘, which also stars Cynthia Gibb, so YOU KNOW IT’s gotta be great…  Actually, I believe she is topless in this one so it may be worth viewing again on fast forward…  But that’s beside the point…

So now I’ve realized the DEPTH of the Republinazi’s conspiracy…  Spread the word people…  Keep your eye’s out in the news for upcoming sure fire moments from the Republican party…

I heard a woman on the news from Minnesota (don’t cha know)…  Talking about how she likes Palin cause she’s ‘entertaining’…  Great, this stupid bitch is going to vote for McCain cause she feel’s it’s the party that’s gonna give her more ‘Desperate Housewives‘ moments when she watches the news…  What the hell is wrong with the other citizens in my county???

It’s like they’ve (the RNC) directly lifted the passage from ‘The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy‘….  “The president’s REAL job is to distract people from where the REAL power lie”…. I’m paraphrasing of course, but it’s true here too SUCH an extreme and it’s like no one else is paying attention because it’s SCIENCE fiction…  If fucking Danielle Steele had written it there would be 55 million screaming housewives hanging effigies of McCain in the streets…

So remember keep looking for future moments out of the RNC from your favorite 80′s show’s and movies:

You’ll be seeing the ‘don’t do drugs’ episode of ‘Family Ties‘ or anything starring Kirk Cameron, though I gotta admit he PROBABLY signed over the rights to the RNC…

There will HAVE to be everyone’s FAVORITE ‘rock out’ montage moment from Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink Revenge of the Nerds or The Breakfast Club…

Look for John McCain, in silhouette, dancing his way through a barn and around dangerous farming implements ala Kevin Bacon in ‘Footloose‘….  By the way, it’s NOT REALLY McCain in the long shot’s, I just want to let you folks down in advance…

I’d say the RNC has ‘jumped the shark’ but jump the shark jumped the shark when they became popular right???

John McCain graduated FIFTH from the bottom of his class at Annapolis!….  I mean really, that sounds to me like he did WORSE in school than BUSH?!?!?!….  I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been TOO impressed with the last underachiever America hired for that gig,…..  I’m not so sure I want to continue on that PATH….

Let me put this into perspective,…. In graduating FIFTH from the bottom, this means that he was BARELY able to figure out how to BOMB someone accurately….  Let me say that again, HE HAD TROUBLE BLOWING SHIT UP CORRECTLY!!!….   And obviously with his flight record that FIFTH from the bottom shows….  What IT’S MY FAULT HE WAS SHOT DOWN NOW?!?!?!….  I wasn’t even BORN when he got shot down so I accept no responsibility for Mr. McCain’s ability, or lack there of ACTUALLY, to pilot an aircraft.  I mean at least Bush has the excuse of having had drugs destroy his brain and grade point average….  McCain went to school in the 50′s….  They didn’t have anything but sock hops and booze back then right?!?!?

All I’m saying is, if you really want Mr. McCain to DITCH AMERICA the same way he DITCHED that A-4 Skyhawk over the Nam back in 67, GO AHEAD, ELECT HIM, you’ll see!!!  Mark my words as my Mom used to say…

I probably don’t have the most popular opinion on this topic, at least for this region, regarding guns or should I say gun ownership….  But then I come from a different background in regards to owning guns so if you’ll hear me out…. The problem isn’t legal gun owners of course it’s the people who are acquiring these tools illegally….  And that’s what they are they’re TOOLS when used properly they’re not dangerous….  No gun LAW is going to stop someone who is already getting a gun ILLEGALLY….  They already got it, they’re not going to go oh, it’s REALLY ILLEGAL NOW, I’m running right to the next ‘Kicks for Guns‘ promo and getting some NEW SHOES!!!…..  Unless they REALLY need some new shoes…  Like someone who’s toes are showing through, you know?

But then I was raised with guns, I got my first shotgun when I was 12!!….  I’ll be 40 this year….  And I never KILLED ANYONE,…. YET!…. But I also had to go to safety courses and all other kinds of stuff BEFORE I got that gun….  It’s about education and attitudes….  I don’t let my kids play with toy guns….  my 8 year old does target practice with a pellet gun,….  I know ‘You’ll put your eye out!’,….  but every time he touches it we go over safety….  I suppose I should also mention that I was a unit armorer in the Army, so let’s also note that I have PROBABLY had a LITTLE more exposure and a LOT more chances and opportunities to actually KILL an annoying supervisor than the average citizen….  And yet I resisted the urge…  WHY?…..   Ohhh I don’t know it’s perhaps this little thing I have about valuing human life and respecting the individual!!!!!….. Yeah all that and I don’t even believe in GOD….  Wow…  Amazing.  Which is KIND of ANNOYING sometimes cause I’m a GOOD SHOT too….  I was rated an Expert, great skill to have but it doesn’t really help with a job interview….  ‘Tell me about some special skill you have displayed in the past.’…..   Well I can cause a persons skull to EXPLODE with a rifle from 1000 meters!!!  When do I start?!?!?!

But honestly it’s the parents that haven’t taught these kids or young people, or as I call them MORONS cause age doesn’t matter to STUPID,….  to value life that’s causing all this gun violence….  I grew up all over this country, mostly in the mid-west and the south.  In places where the citizenry were  WAY more heavily armed than the local constabulary many times and yet none of us ever ACCIDENTALLY shot someone 7 to 10 times while we were driving down the street with our friends,… We were cleaning our guns,….  OOPS!!!  Why you may ask?…..  Cause the minute someone heard a nutcase was firing off rounds downtown everyone else would have been there to KILL YOUR DUMB ASS IN 30 SECOND FLAT!!!…  No shit, you’d have been dead BEFORE you had TIME to piss your pants, they shoot straight and fast out there!!!!

All I’m saying is let’s all just learn to practice a little restraint, right???….  Perhaps if we passed some type of LAWS to make ANGER MANAGEMENT mandatory to all the peoples of this great land there’d be a few more of us left ABOVE the surface of terra firma than BELOW it…. instead of arguing about Gun Laws….  Or at least there would be a few more to argue about it!

Maybe it’s because of all this extra knowledge I have of weapons that some films are starting to make me feel ancient…. (Segue into: Some films are starting to make me feel ancient)

I read Dick Cheney, now there’s someone who takes his own name literally…. AND it’s appropriate too, I gotta admit it fits him!!!…. You know he reminds me of???….  Did you ever see the OLD Batman TV show?….  He sounds JUST LIKE Burgess Meredith as THE PENGUIN!!!….  WAACCK, WAACK, YEAH I SHOT MY FRIEND IN THE FACE… WAACK…

I read DICK had his annual medical physical….   I hope his doctor had fingers as big around as one of those DISGUSTING looking red pickled sausages that you see in the truck stops…  You’ve seen those things right?!?!!….  I can’t imagine the horrid, putrid, rotting stench that must come out of that damned jar each time they open it….   People must be walking in there smelling that shit for 2 days after they sell one of those things…  I have to say right now to any store owners here tonight…  is it REALLY worth all that for that ONE RANDOM 99 CENT SALE?!?!?!

Now that I think about it I hope Cheney’s doctor forgot to wash his hand and those big sausage fingers going into his ass smell like em too….  In fact I hope that all the current highly placed Republican party members have to use that same doctor DICK, Bush, McCain,….  I wish they would just line em up and then just run down the line….  POP, POP, POP…. IS IT JUST ME?