Article about the Improv Show I was in last week: http://tinyurl.com/2brzc5u

What’s with Cali and the 40 ounce?

I got no “homies” to spill half of this out for,…   that’s why in Florida I only got 16 oz cans…

But those are not available here… I need to meet and befriend more gang members so I can have someone to spill out half of my 40′s for…    eventually...

How’s this sound as an opener as I walk up, “Why Hello there my “Homie” ,…

How’s the gat, in your parlance if you’ll excuse the phrase, hangin’ holmes?”…

I think it shall go well…

A friend of mine didn’t care for this joke, because apparently all jokes are real and I mostly drink Guinness when I drink beer and they don’t actually sell 40 oz’ers…

So I told him, “You know what, your right.  I actually need to meet more Irish Gangsters,… specifically turn of the century Irish Gangsters.  Sort of a Daniel Day Lewis  ‘Bill the Butcher’ type from Gangs of New York”…

I haven’t been to New York in a couple years do they still have that?…   Guys strolling around the City with Meat Cleavers and other tools used in the industrial slaughter of animals?…

If they don’t I’m not sure how I’m going to make this joke real…

A friend of mine told me she’s going to Chicago in September on a ‘girls trip’ and asked what to do while she was there…

I told her since she was going to be there on 9/11 to be sure to see the movie  ‘Philadelphia’…

it’s so much more relevant when you see it there…

What, too soon? Let me ask, for which one Aids, 9/11 or the musical Chicago?

Clifford Stoll was an internet pundit back in the mid 90′s. I saw him give a lecture when I was in college for Computer Science at Cameron University in OK, where education is blowin’ cross the plains (sorry I broke out into the musical Oklahoma for a second there)…

ANYWAY, Cliff said the internet would never work because we’re all basically “people who need people” (are the luckiest people… maybe I shouldn’t have fallen asleep to ‘Westside Story’…). He had a book out at the time which is referenced above when you click the link attached to his name.

A friend and I were talking about it recently so this is for you Paul, where are they now?  Blowing useless glass objects and selling them on the internet!

Not everyone with wacky hair can be a Nostradamus.

May I have the envelope please… (drum-roll) AND THE AWARDS GO TO: daily pie, Miscellaneous IT Pimpery, and The Miserable Bastard.

This much coveted award is for bloggers who have a sense of humor and are smarter than a and not too chicken to say what they think.

Rules:
1. Proudly display the award on your blog with a link back to Honjii and a link back Deadpan Drollery, along with his/her name, who chose to award your blog.

2. Bestow this award, along with the rules, on a minimum of three blogs.

3. Contact the bloggers you’ve chosen and let them know of their incredibly life-altering good news.

4. Swear on your first born, or whatever you hold dear, never to mention these blogging awards are created by other self-serving bloggers trying to get more traffic altruistic bloggers who wish nothing more than to acknowledge a blog well done.

I was sitting at home the other day minding my own business and suddenly a booming yet annoyingly perky and upbeat feminine voice on TV empirically stated:

“Vagasil anti-itch medicated wipes could change your life”…

Now I’d just like to say…

Yes,…  they in fact DID change my life,…  just like you said commercial,…

But I’m still not comfortable being called out on it in my living room like that…

I DO have friends over on occasion…