There are now 7 billion people on this planet, yet even with those odds I can’t find a undocumented maid that won’t drink my liquor.

I mean come on 7 billion people… More alien abductions & sightings than any time in our recorded history…. I’d advise you all to stock up on ammo we’re ripe for the harvest….  That’s why we’re getting plumper as a species,.. like cattle going to market.

If it weren’t for Catholicism’s ‘out breed em all’ policy there wouldn’t be 7 billion people & Puss in Boots wouldn’t have been # 1 in the box office the week it premiered.

My problem with Catholic people isn’t that I think I’m smarter than them, I know I am…  The problem is they breed & put helmets on their children.

There are 7 billion people on this planet but if your gay in America they don’t want you to get married because it ‘threatens the species’…  Really?

If your gay you can’t get married because it threatens the ‘sanctity’ of marriage,..  but Thank god Kim Kardashian was able to get married AND have her divorce within 72 days so the current season didn’t have to end with a cliff hanger…

Kim Kardashian’s marriage really recalls those great Hollywood relationships of old doesn’t it?… I mean who’s not thinking Hepburn & Tracy right now, so romantic!!

Titanic was longer, both the film & the actual sinking of the ship…  Which was, unlike her marriage breaking up, an actual, verifiable, real and tragic event.


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The day my family was having our Reunion back East,…   That’s the direction that doesn’t lead you into the Pacific Ocean…  The day of the reunion I was sitting there watching ‘Fatal Attraction’ in HD…

And this made me think, “Example of Symmetry?  OR Newton’s Third Law?”

You Make the Call…

Since my brother was there and ‘on the field’ as it were, I asked him to officiate for me…

His return text was a bit disturbing,…  his judgment call was that it was more in line with Symmetry, apparently things got pretty rough around the “buffet area”…

But in our defense we are all pretty damned good cooks…


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Headline News was reporting on the fact that Tiger Woods “fist bumped” a fan in Orlando on the golf course today…

How is this news?…

I mean the only thing it really makes me want to know is, was that the fist he diddled the cocktail waitresses and strippers with?…


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I have a Gay Jewish Mother In Law…  That’s like double jeopardy isn’t it?…

I mean they don’t even allow that kind of stuff in the U.S. court system…

Even AFTER Bush got done with them…  I mean the court system…  Not the Gay Jewish Mother In Law’s…

Though I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t approve of them either…  If he could conceive of such a thing…


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… I was standing there this morning… in the nude… let that image sink in for a second there ladies… …. …. and my wife goes, “What are you DOING!!! I’ve gotta go to work I don’t have time for SEX!!!”… which wasn’t even on my mind… …. till she SAID IT!!…

but I was just getting dressed, didn’t say anything… not even the “hey ya wanna?!?!” pleading look that every guy does… i wasn’t even thinking of sex… it made me feel like such a piece of meat, like an object or a ‘sex toy’ if you will…. dirty…

THAT WAS KINDA COOL!!!, is that what hot girls feel like all the time?!?!?! Cause I get it now…


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Ping Zing precision engineered clubs are the ONLY clubs on the market today with the PROVEN accuracy to beat Tiger…


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