If singing ‘Rape Me’ while watching Entourage, crying & masturbating is gay then I guess I’m not.

3 out of 4 ain’t bad though…

Sorry, it’s a good show and I do watch it,…    The kid that plays Turtle has really grown as an actor since he did Lord of the Rings and Rudy

If you didn’t check him out on IMDB Wikipedia you’d never know he was that little girl from The Cosby Show…


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Headline News was reporting on the fact that Tiger Woods “fist bumped” a fan in Orlando on the golf course today…

How is this news?…

I mean the only thing it really makes me want to know is, was that the fist he diddled the cocktail waitresses and strippers with?…


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I really love my gig, but it’s more than a little annoying when your told to come in to work for a system wide inspection and be there at 6am for the testing to begin and then given bum information from the start…..

“I’m here to lead the 6am testing group through the facility” says me.

“Oh, well all the testers were told to go and come back at 9am” says the unknown meeting leader who just finished the morning report in front of the group…

“Oh” says I, “well they’ll have trouble inspecting the O.R. if they try after 8am cause that’s when all the surgery starts”…

So I give him my contact info and head back to the office to enjoy the coffee I had to leave up there anyway cause of the stupid meeting…

2.5 hours later I am told there was a ‘mis-communication’ and they are already testing in another area so I need to get down there…

So to those of you who are vets out there, just know this, you WILL find a home in the civilian workforce….

Who cares, they paid me for 3 hours for doing basically nothing…


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Saw ANOTHER commercial stating that 1 in 3 men will ‘develop’ Prostate Cancer…  Of COURSE they have something to sell you to help prevent it…

This makes me think 1 in 3 men need to ‘get over it’ and either lower their ‘standards’ to find a partner or just let go (so to speak) of their sexual hang ups and start wanking off by themselves ALOT more…

It’s what I tell my wife every time she catches me….  “Honey, it’s just GOOD HEALTH”….   Plus it’s ALOT cheaper than the refills….  Now that I think about it I could handle the refills….  Sorry….

What can’t a man “exercise” his prostate and not be stared at in the train station anymore….

Though I do admit that whole “Stand behind the yellow line rule” makes ALOT more sense to me now than it did before….


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I have a great idea for a porno starring Hannah Montana and that girl from iCarly….   But I found out we’re going to have to wait a few years to make it…..   Apparently we just can’t afford to hire them while they’re still under contract…..

What!!!….  Take it easy now…..  You SHOULD be pissed at their Dad’s not me…..  Those guys are the ones who sold their kids to Satan (Beelzebub)….  I mean Disney.

I don’t want to watch it, I just want to sell it…..  There are already millions of 12 to 16 year old boys out there watching Disney Channel and doing themselves….  I’m just looking to sell them something THEY WANT that will make them do it more vigorously and for longer periods of time….

I merely want to keep the roads safe…..  Think of all the little shits that wouldn’t be out annoying you in the streets in the evening anymore!


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Do you know why I think women are lucky?…   I mean BESIDES multiple orgasms…. Because all you need to simulate sex for yourself is ANY good STIFF object about 8 to 12 inches long…  I mean besides the dildo you’ve got: flashlights, phones, bananas, all manner of fruit and veggies actually….   There really is no GOOD way to simulate a vagina….

I mean if a guy can afford it and gets himself a doll but forgets the lube he’s screwed…  and not in the good way…. Plastic BURNS when you create friction against it when it’s dry…..  So does dry humping by the way…  I wore all the skin off one side of my cock once in high school when I was making out with this girl….  and LET ME TELL YOU gentlemen, if that EVER happens to you….  just wait until it heals up completely before you try and get with another lady….  Cause NOTHING you can say will EVER adequately explain to your new woman why you have SCABBY DICK!!!…. The FIRST thing you’ll hear after you whip it out is “I’m not putting that thing in MY MOUTH or anywhere else!!!”…

Like I said I envy women’s ability to have the multiple orgasm…. If a guy had that ability we’d NEVER leave the house….  Also if a guy does, by some cosmic alignment of the planets, get lucky enough to have more than one in a session…. let me just say gentlemen, make sure your well hydrated cause that second or third time will feel like you are PISSING RAZORBLADES!!!!…  This is the shit they DO NOT tell you in that health class in 8th or 9th grade so REMEMBER IT!!!!


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