THIS IS MY TONGUE…

THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!!!

I must master it as I must master my timing.

Without me, my tongue is useless.

Without my tongue, I am useless, and kind of gross.

I must undulate my tongue true….

I must prattle on straighter than the enemy (heckler) who is trying to blather at me.

I must talk OVER HIM before he interrupts me.

I will.



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This perpetual Oil Spill in the Gulf is a mess,

Now I know I’m just a simple ex-soldier/comic but couldn’t the Navy just blow the well?…

Wait even BETTER idea…

Let’s get Navy UDT to team up with the Porn Industry to blow the well?…

And bonus, with money as tight as it is these days, the Porn Industry could also re-task that Oil Spill as lube…

I was going to suggest they use hookers from New Orleans at first,…

but since Katrina there aren’t enough of them left with the experience to blow a well…


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The Revolution has begun folks,…

An iPad shot a Kindle in Massachusetts today…

A Zune is riding West to warn the citizenry…

Of course the irony is no one listens to a Zune…

Take THAT Alanis Morissette!


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I don’t really care about all this hype over the Lost Finale…

I watched this show when it was on originally, it’s just been updated, repackaged and re-sold as original programming but it’s a re-make, it’s just un-original writing…

I’ve never watched the current one but as far as the old one goes let me just say this, had those survivors just gotten together with military precision and SHOT that Gilligan those poor people would have been off that island within a week…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/sandworm999#p/c/A7E94DC43B36EAE5/0/8WWEyb7HzMw]


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I love watching the History Channel…  One of my favorite Histories Mysteries is “Who do you blame WWII on”…

I think, if anyone, the person we should place all the blame, agony and cruelty of WWII squarely on is the jerk that told Hitler as a kid “You have to EARN respect”…

Bet that guy feels like a dick right?…  Probably some well meaning Uncle that only got to see the kid like twice before he started committing atrocities…  THEN what are you going to say…  I mean and live…


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I really love my gig, but it’s more than a little annoying when your told to come in to work for a system wide inspection and be there at 6am for the testing to begin and then given bum information from the start…..

“I’m here to lead the 6am testing group through the facility” says me.

“Oh, well all the testers were told to go and come back at 9am” says the unknown meeting leader who just finished the morning report in front of the group…

“Oh” says I, “well they’ll have trouble inspecting the O.R. if they try after 8am cause that’s when all the surgery starts”…

So I give him my contact info and head back to the office to enjoy the coffee I had to leave up there anyway cause of the stupid meeting…

2.5 hours later I am told there was a ‘mis-communication’ and they are already testing in another area so I need to get down there…

So to those of you who are vets out there, just know this, you WILL find a home in the civilian workforce….

Who cares, they paid me for 3 hours for doing basically nothing…


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