There are now 7 billion people on this planet, yet even with those odds I can’t find a undocumented maid that won’t drink my liquor.

I mean come on 7 billion people… More alien abductions & sightings than any time in our recorded history…. I’d advise you all to stock up on ammo we’re ripe for the harvest….  That’s why we’re getting plumper as a species,.. like cattle going to market.

If it weren’t for Catholicism’s ‘out breed em all’ policy there wouldn’t be 7 billion people & Puss in Boots wouldn’t have been # 1 in the box office the week it premiered.

My problem with Catholic people isn’t that I think I’m smarter than them, I know I am…  The problem is they breed & put helmets on their children.

There are 7 billion people on this planet but if your gay in America they don’t want you to get married because it ‘threatens the species’…  Really?

If your gay you can’t get married because it threatens the ‘sanctity’ of marriage,..  but Thank god Kim Kardashian was able to get married AND have her divorce within 72 days so the current season didn’t have to end with a cliff hanger…

Kim Kardashian’s marriage really recalls those great Hollywood relationships of old doesn’t it?… I mean who’s not thinking Hepburn & Tracy right now, so romantic!!

Titanic was longer, both the film & the actual sinking of the ship…  Which was, unlike her marriage breaking up, an actual, verifiable, real and tragic event.

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Obama’s choices have revealed his genius, Hillary makes perfect sense now. Who better to help us get over Pakistan cheating on us all along.

The President knew Osama was in Pakistan all the way back in 2006. He’s been around, he knows when a brothers cheating.

Pakistan needs to be careful, we have a female Sec. of State. If they push her too far she’ll drive all the way over there in a diaper for retribution.

I’ve gotta admit it would be fun seeing Hillary try to take down Pakistan with a roofie in the airport parking garage like Dexter though.

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Statistically speaking, if you’re going to be shot, you’re going to be shot by someone you know

Personally speaking, if I’m going to be shot, I’d prefer an to be shot by an expert

I figure there are fewer ‘issues’ that way…

The problem is, I’m the only expert marksman I know personally, and I don’t believe in using guns for suicide…

Why give the anti-gun lobbies any more ammunition…

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Send a letter of support telling Showtime to bring Green Room back next season, this year was their first year and it is great.  Please e-mail a letter to:

For example here is my letter with the ‘relevant’ contact information deleted, my apologies to Annie Wilkes.

Of course feel free to change up the part about being a Systems Engineer/Stand Up I understand that parts kind of  “specific”.


Dear Corporate Bean Counters,

Please continue this series Greenroom on Showtime, in fact give them more episodes per season please!  Such a great and interesting show. I’m a subscriber and this is great, now if you can just get better writing on Weeds, which has just gotten stupid last season, I’ll be pleased with most everything about your network.

As a professional Systems Engineer and stand up, I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed this show and it’s format.  Starting in entertainment later in life as Jonathan Winters it was great to see him again in such a freeing format to open up.

Thanks again to Paul Provenza and everyone involved with the show from the production group all the way down to the Showtime Executives.

Ed Wallick

Deadpan Drollery

–end of line–

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The family and I call him the Governator, but I don’t think we’re alone in that… Believe me I won’t be voting for him! Friends from other states keep commenting to me on how he’s messing up California…

It’s really pretty sad when your state’s Governor brings his ‘Conan’ sword into a state budget meeting cause he thinks that will help him ‘get the people on his side’….

Now if he’d of started actually SWINGING a sharpened scimitar about a budget meeting, then MAYBE he’d get my vote…

It kind of depends on how many Republicans he takes out of ‘public service’…  I mean there is a budget crisis so less payroll is less payroll…

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Bill Maher had some GREAT New Rules on his Sept. 12, 2008 show…

Great that he points out there were 42 Meth Lab busts in Sarah Palin’s home county!!!  Plus all the other “I’m from a ‘small town’ so I’m BETTER than you.” fecal matter conservative’s like to spew.

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